just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
