You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
