So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I fill condoms, not promises.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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