I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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