yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i think we sleep fucked last night...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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