Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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