My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
