Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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