i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize