Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
