P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
