What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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