That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
