I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think pants incapable of making pants work
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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