Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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