TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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