he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he thought i was a dude.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
