isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
