He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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