pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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