So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
