The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
