i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Terrible idea I love it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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