I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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