My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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