K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
