3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
