she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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