i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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