i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
