come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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