we're blogging at a bar
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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