At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
