I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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