I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
