Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is your mom at the bar?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
