Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
