hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
