carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
