You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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