By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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