at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
