I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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