it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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