toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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