Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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