So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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