I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
