Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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