is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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