This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
