accomplished twins. life is a go
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
