no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
