that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
