i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
