it's too hot outside to masturbate.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
