I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
