I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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