Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
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you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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